


Tale of Two Children

by Ingol



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (sort of), Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Projecting on others isn't healthy Chara, Reader Is Chara, Reincarnation, Self-Esteem Issues, Survivor Guilt, especially if it's about dead people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-23 00:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 5,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13775868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingol/pseuds/Ingol
Summary: When a human Soul is Determined enough...Sometimes, it is enough to come back from death.(Even if that is not what one wants)





	1. Prologue

It starts with a game that wasn’t quite a game.

It starts with a child, too tired and angry at the world.

It starts with a hike up a mountain, and the discovery of a hole.

 

The child dies.

 

But you’re not dead.

 

_Not once did you think that you were above consequences._

 

* * *

 

 

There were once two children.

One of them was a prince.

The other was just a dead weight, a charity case.

But they were children, and they were siblings and they loved each other.

 

Until the dead weight got the two children killed.

 

* * *

 

 

What is regret in the end?

What happens when one so desperately wants to change something, even at the point of death?

In humans, it is known as **determination**.

 

When a human soul is determined enough...

Sometimes, it is enough to persist after death.

 

Even if the human in question isn’t dead- not really.

 

* * *

 

 

It isn’t fair that you got to live, not when you can feel your sins crawling down your back.

It’s not fair that you were the one who came back after death.

 

It’s not fair.

 

Life isn’t fair.

 

* * *

 

 

There were once two children who loved each other.

There was once a child who saw the best in everything.

 

The child died.

 

And it was a l l y o u r f a u l t


	2. The Ruins

There is a flower who calls you Chara.

But you’re not Chara.

You haven’t been Chara for a very long time.

 

All you remember of that life was regret and anger and sorrow and hate.

“Kill or be killed.” The flower- a golden flower- laughs.

You think of buttercups that you once stomped upon, and buttercups that poisoned you and killed you from inside out.

You almost agree. (But you’re already dead)

 

* * *

 

 

Mom- no, Toriel is the same as ever.

She coddles you and calls you her child.

You wonder if you’re just a replacement or if she’s already forgotten her real children.

 

You look at the room that’s remained untouched.

There is a drawing you once made of a golden flower- a buttercup.

You want to tear it down and shred it to pieces.

You don’t.

 

* * *

 

 

You can’t stay.

Not in a place that belonged to the dead.

You peek into Toriel’s room to make sure that she’s asleep, and you sneak down into the basement where you know the exit is.

 

No one stops you.

 

* * *

 

 

“You Spared her.” Flowey says with that little disgusted tone.

(You hate him)

“Shut up.”

(He’s not Asriel; he just has Asriel’s memories)

“Hehe, you’ll get tired of this game soon.”

(How dare he.)

You walk past the flower that has twisted Asriel’s memory, and you hatehatehate.

 

* * *

 

 

You had always been a child full of hate.


	3. Snowdin

 Snowdin is the same as ever, except you’ve never been here for such a long period of time.

 

The snow is cold.

The forest is dark.

You don’t feel fear- you’re a little too old to be scared of the dark, and you’re not alive enough to really _feel_.

 

* * *

 

You’re almost jealous of the skeleton brothers.

You’re reminded of Asriel and how you led him to his death.

(He didn’t deserve it. He deserved so much more.)

 

* * *

 

 

Puzzles.

Puzzles are familiar.

You focus on the contraptions and ignore how your gut clenches every time you meet a dog.

 

Dogs are odd.

Dogs are friendly.

Friends.

There is something you are forgetting.

_You can’t remember what_

 

* * *

 

 

Snowdin reminds you of Gyftmas.

Gyftmas dredges up memories of first presents, joy, warmth.

You stand under the huge tree.

You think of children who only ever wanted the best for their family.

You think of a child who destroyed all that happiness.

 

There was once a child who became a prince.

All the child brought was ruin.

 

* * *

 

“You’re a lot like my brother.” You don’t mean to say that- it just slips out.

You see Asriel’s optimism in Papyrus.

_It’s not fair._

“WOWIE! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD A BROTHER TOO, HUMAN! THEY MUST BE AS AMAZING AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

You think of Asriel, surrounded by dust and tears of cowardice and regret.

Asriel, who heard your cries, who saved you.

Asriel, who loved you so much, more than you could ever love him.

You feel sorrow, regret, anger.

“Yeah. He was.” You say. Your words are as hollow and empty as your heart.

 

You don’t notice how Papyrus’ smile fades away.

You don’t notice how Sans’ eye sockets go dark.

What you do notice is the flash of yellow at the corner of your eye.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus invites you on a date.

Dates are supposed to be disgustingly mushy.

You don’t think that this is a real date.

You deny ever reading any of Asriel’s sickeningly-sweet romance stories.

You miss him, you miss him, _you m i s s him_

 

* * *

 

 

Sans treats you to Grillby’s.

He tells you about a talking flower.

You keep your expression carefully blank.

Asriel had always been horrible at plans.

That was what you were for.

He was the empathy, the conscience.

You were the brains.

 

But your plan got the both of you killed.

You were useless.

Stupid, idiotic Chara who was so full of love _guilt_ hate…

You couldn’t even keep your most important person alive.

You failed Asriel.

You failed the one person who ever believed in you.

What kind of planner were you?

 

You clench your fist and dig your nails into your palm until they draw blood.

And yet.

Despite everything…

You don’t think you can forgive Flowey for taking away everything you loved about Asriel.

 

* * *

 

 

Sans is still talking.

You force a smile to your face and nod.

You can’t remember a single word he has said.

 

(Not like it matters, _brother-killer_.)


	4. Waterfall

It’s funny, how you managed to screw over the entire Underground.

You were too stupid to stay alive, and you dragged Asriel down with you.

You listen to the echo flowers.

Asriel didn’t deserve this.

None of the monsters did.

“You were supposed to kill those humans.”

Flowey looks away.

“I know.”

(He’s not Asriel. Not your brother.)

“Why didn’t you?”

“...I was scared.” (Asriel’s such a crybaby)

You definitely don’t feel affection. Definitely not.

 

* * *

 

You sit under Asriel’s crumbled statue and listen.

(You’re not crying, it’s just the rain)

Flowey doesn’t say a word.

You don’t think he has anything nice to say anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

You stand in front of the drawing of the horrifying monster.

“It’s wrong.” Flowey says.

You don’t know what Asriel looked like when he took your Soul.

You ask Flowey.

“…It was cool. Like- like the God of Hyperdeath.”

You laugh and call him a dork.

(You’re not Chara and Flowey isn’t Asriel. But for a moment, you pretend that you’re both not remnants of dead children.)


	5. Undyne

Undyne kills you.

You don’t die.

You **LOAD**.

 

* * *

 

 

“…”

“…”

You hug your knees to your chest. Flowey is silent for a long, long time.

“We can do better next time, Chara.”

(You’re not Chara)

You nod and stand up – because Asriel is a crybaby and you have to be strong for him.

 

* * *

 

 

Undyne kills you.

Again

and

a

g

a

i

n

 

* * *

 

 

By the time you reach Hotland, you are so full of anger that you want nothing more than for Undyne to know what choking on her own dust is like.

You don’t do anything.

Because even why she’s hunting you is your fault too.

 

* * *

 

 

You hold a cup of water in your hand.

For a moment, you consider pouring the water right in front of her, on the ground.

(Asriel would be soooo disappointed in you.)

You pour it on her head instead.

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re not Asriel.” You pick up the golden flower.

“I’m not.”

“Asriel wouldn’t have laughed.”

“It’s what Chara would have done.”

“…I’m not Chara.”


	6. Hotland

Alphys is anxious.

And a stalker.

You ignore how she pales at the sight of Flowey and stare at the cameras.

(Have they always been there?)

You think that there was another Royal Scientist when Chara had still been alive.

You can’t remember.

 

* * *

 

 

Mettaton is new.

A killer robot.

“He’s stupid.” Flowey scowls.

You rub his petals gently between your fingers.

“Are you jealous, Ree?” The words slip out before you even realize.

You still.

Flowey’s scowl turns into a blank mask.

Neither of you say anything.

 

Flowey isn’t Asriel.

 

You keep forgetting.

 

* * *

 

 

The CORE gives you the chills.

You’re reminded of someone who once looked at you as if you were a lab rat.

“Was… there someone there?” You ask Flowey.

Flowey gives you a derisive look.

“It’s empty. No one lives there.”

You don’t tell him that that’s not what you meant.

You look at the CORE, feeling like you’ve forgotten something.

 

* * *

 

 

The moment Flowey sees Sans, he panics and burrows underground.

You wonder what made Flowey so afraid.

 

Sans takes you to a fancy restaurant.

He tells you of a woman behind a door.

You think of your mother – no – Toriel.

You don’t deserve to be loved.

…

“just kidding.” Sans goes on to say like he hadn’t just threatened you.

You feel cold, but you force a smile to your face. (Notyours, not yours, body snatcher, _m u r d e r e r_ )

“Your jokes suck.” You say. “Wanna hear a better one?”

You don’t give him a chance to respond.

“Why did the child jump Underground?”

“…” Beads of sweat gather on his skull. (Good.)

You leave, anger and spite brewing within you.

_Because the child wouldn’t stay dead._

 

* * *

 

 

You want nothing more than to walk past the robot, past his _annoyingannoying_ showboating.

You don’t.

It somehow spirals into a dance battle that you win by default due to your still-attached legs.

 

* * *

 

Sans is the Judge.

You shouldn’t be as surprised as you are.

He talks a lot.

You let the anger simmer within you.

He still doesn’t look you in the eye even as you walk past him. 


	7. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end... Or is it?

The barrier is right there.

Dad- Asgore stands in front of you, trident in hand.

(How many children did he kill?)

It’s your fault.

You messed up.

You made him a murderer.

 

You take your father’s – the king’s Soul and cross the barrier.

 

The sun is too bright.

The sky is too blue.

Everything is quiet.

You don’t want this.

You lie down on the grass and you cover your eyes.

Clear liquid seeps through your fingers and down the sides of your temples.

You never wanted this ending.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You **RESET**.


	8. Another go

This time, you stay in Home for as long as you can.

Toriel takes care of you.

You have to repeatedly remind yourself that she is no longer your mom.

 

* * *

 

 

“This is getting boring, Chara.” Flowey sneers.

“Shut up, Ree.” You snap.

For a moment, both of you realise what was said.

Neither of you say anything.

“Not Asriel.” Flowey is the first to break the silence.

“Not Chara.” You echo.

 

* * *

 

 

You have to leave eventually.

You always do

This time, Toriel stands in front of you, blocking the exit.

“Asgore will kill you!” She says firmly like it is a fact.

(It probably is.)

It hurts, seeing this rift between the two monsters that were once your parents.

You swallow the lump in your throat.

(All your fault. All your fault. ALL YOUR FAULT.)

“Mom. Please.”

“Fight me or turn back!”

You hold the toy knife in your hand.

…

You look at the dust on your hands.

“…About time.” Flowey says, looking at Toriel’s remains.

You clench the handle of the dusty knife in your fist.

“Shut up!” You snarl.

Flowey laughs and burrows underground.

(How did you ever mistake him for Asriel?)

You should have killed him when you had the chance.

 

* * *

 

 

You storm through Snowdin, leaving behind a trail of dust.

You don’t mean to do it – you never meant for this to happen.

You stare at Papyrus’ scarf in muted horror.

But the only thing you know how to do is continue.

 

* * *

 

 

Undyne falls by your hand, as does Mettaton and several other monsters that tried to obstruct your path.

It’s fine, you tell yourself, as long as you get to the barrier, you can **RESET**.

Then, none of these would have happened.

 

* * *

 

 

You meet Sans in the Judgement Hall again.

“why did you kill my brother?”

You have no answer for him.

He lets you go.

You think that being killed would have been kinder.

 

* * *

 

 

You kill Asgore.

Again.

 

You sit outside the barrier, your hands covered in dust.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You **RESET**.


	9. Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, grief can fester in the unhealthiest ways.

You try.

You really do.

The toy knife is covered in dust.

 

* * *

 

It started with the Training Dummy.

Then the Froggit.

You couldn’t help it- you were just so angry.

The Training Dummy was fine.

The Froggit wasn’t.

 

* * *

 

Why?

Why did nothing work?

“This is your fault!” You yell at Flowey. “You should have killed those humans!”

“Why is this my fault?” Flowey attempts to shout back.

Your anger has long since stopped simmering. It is boiling.

You do the only thing that you know will even work – you lash out.

You tear apart the thing that’s corroded your brother’s memory.

Plant sap sticky on your fingers, you throw your head back and laugh.

 

* * *

 

It starts with a child angry at the world.

It starts with a child who died, and then came back to life.

 

* * *

 

You haven’t been this angry in ages.

There is something oddly satisfying about watching monsters crumble into dust like clay sculptures.

The dust sticks onto your knife, courtesy of Flowey’s life-blood.

Just like the wide smile on your face that just won’t come off.

(Why are you smiling…?)

It’s almost funny, really, how all these monsters are so weak and cowardly.

It’s easy.

So easy.

They run. They attack. They die.

You see Toriel gasping at the dust coating your body, and you laugh.

You laugh as the woman that was once your mother is reduced to nothing but a pile of dust.

You laugh and laugh and laugh.

You don’t even know why.

 

* * *

 

It starts with a child who tried so hard to be good.

The child wasn't a good child at all.

 

_Murderer_

_A r e  y o u  h a p p y  n o w  ?_

* * *

 

Sans stares at the dust on your hands and the too-wide smile on your face.

He doesn’t say a word.

Papyrus, however, is as optimistic as ever.

You’re reminded of Asriel, of his kindness and the way he shone so bright in this cruel world.

(Why did he die when everyone else got to live?)

 

* * *

 

“YOU CAN BE BETTER, HUMAN!” Papyrus says.

You want to rip him apart.

What does he know?

You killed your mother, your father, even your brother.

“I really can’t.” Your hands are coated in sap and dust.

Papyrus refuses to fight.

You’re angry, frustrated.

“Fight back, damnit!” You shout and attack him.

Papyrus refuses to fight.

His HP dwindles down.

“I’m just a murderer.” You say. You are standing in front of the skeleton, your knife shaking.

“ANYONE CAN BE A GOOD PERSON IF THEY TRY!”

You don’t believe him.

Papyrus opens his arms wide in a hug.

You take it.

And you stab him in the back.

He blinks slowly at you as his body turns to dust.

“I BELIEVE IN YOU, HUMAN!” He says even as just a skull, even though you stabbed him in the back.

You don’t believe in yourself.

“I’m just a murderer.” You say, looking at the remains of the skeleton monster.

_“I believe in you, Chara!”_

“You shouldn’t have trusted me, Ree.” You murmur, kneeling down in the snow, clenching your hands in Papyrus’ dust.

“I’m sorry.” The anger is fading.

 

Then, you feel something impale you from behind.

You look down and see a glowing spear.

 

* * *

 

 

You **LOAD**.

 

* * *

 

 

The anger flares back up again.

Goddamned Undyne!

Papyrus stand before you again.

He repeats his words.

You want to kill him. Like you’ve killed the other monsters.

But you can still remember that distant feeling of regret.

_“I think that everyone can be good people! That means you too, Chara!”_

It feels too much like Asriel is the one who you’re facing. Your anger falters.

You can’t do this.

Not to Asriel.

You throw your knife onto the ground. It lands in the snow with a sad ‘sploosh’ that makes your anger grow.

You so desperately want to throw a tantrum, but you know that there is no one who will care for that.

So you let the anger simmer.

Then, Papyrus hugs you and you feel your anger drain away in the face of his enthusiasm.

“WOWIE! YOU DIDN’T DO A VIOLENCE! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!”

And- and he’s so optimistic, so much like Asriel.

“TO BE HONEST, I WAS A LITTLE AFRAID…” Papyrus adds almost like an afterthought.

“I’m so sorry, Ree.” You whisper. “I can never do anything right.”

Papyrus’ smile falters.

“HUMAN, I’M NOT YOUR BROTHER.”

“…I know.” You say.

Flowey, despite having Asriel’s memories, wasn’t Asriel.

And Papyrus, who behaves so much like Asriel, only so much braver, isn’t Asriel either.

…

Wait.

“I never told you I had a brother.” Not in this timeline.

Realization strikes you.

“You remember.”

Then, “I killed you.”

Papyrus shifts uncomfortably.

“I killed you and you- you-!”

You wrap your arms around his ribs and you cry.

 

* * *

 

 

You killed your mother and your father.

Your brother might as well have died because of you.

And this loud, abrasive monster who is so much like your best friend just comes along and forgives you.

Even though you killed him.

You can’t do this.

Not to him.

Not to your brother’s memory.

Your hands are covered in plant sap and dust.

But you know that Asriel would have wanted you to make things right.

You take your sticky, dusty knife and…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You **RESET**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really satisfied with this chapter. Might come back and work on it some day


	10. This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're doing the five stages of grief all wrong.  
> Then again, you've never been normal.

You don’t have the energy to laugh or cry.

You just lie there in the flowerbed looking up at the hole in the cavern.

Until someone arrives.

“You killed me!” Flowey screeches.

“Shut up!” You snap.

“You killed me!” Flowey repeats.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have been such a jerk!”

“Whatever. I bet you felt so happy when you made that smiley trashbag cry.”

“…”

“Seriously? You didn’t kill his brother?”

“He’s more like Asriel than you will ever be.” You say. It is not a comforting realization.

Flowey falls silent.

“I don’t have a Soul, idiot.” He says quietly.

“…Sorry.”

Flowey huffs but doesn’t say anything.

You hear the sound of paws on pavement.

Flowey burrows underground.

You have to do better this time.

For Asriel.

 

* * *

 

 

You Spare Toriel.

Then… She kills you.

The look of horror on her face is enough.

 

You **LOAD**.

 

You try again.

 

* * *

 

 

“Took you, what, five tries?” Flowey asks.

You kick at him half-heartedly. He dodges.

“I didn’t kill Mom.” You say, and instead of anger, you think you might feel pride.

“Pfft. Well, you’ve still gotta get past Asgore.” Flowey says in that too-sweet tone of his.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“And you got killed by Undyne how many times?” He calls after you.

“Shut up already!” You throw your unused toy knife at him.

Flowey burrows underground.

“Sheesh. I can’t be _leaf_ that you’re such an or _chid_.”

You think that you might have heard a muffled screech.

It is such an Asriel-reaction that you can’t help but smile.

 

* * *

 

 

You meet Sans.

He looks at you with blank eyes but gives you a nod.

You don’t want to know what that means.

(But you do anyway.)

 

* * *

 

 

“HUMAN!” Papyrus starts in a chiding tone.

“Yeah?” You ask.

“YOU SHOULD TREAT YOURSELF WITH MORE KINDNESS. STARS KNOW THAT YOU ARE JUST LIKE MY BROTHER!”

Like Sans? You scoff at the thought.

“I came back. Ree would have wanted me to do better.”

Papyrus looks uncomfortable. “IN NO LIFE WOULD I WANT MY BROTHER TO KILL HIMSELF TO ATONE FOR HIS SINS. I DOUBT THAT YOUR BROTHER WOULD EITHER.”

_“Chara, wake up!”_

“My brother is dead.” You say, tired and drained.

Flowey isn’t Asriel.

And you are no longer Chara.

(What worth is the life of a child who can’t die?)

 

* * *

 

 

You stay over at Snowdin for a while, bunking on Sans and Papyrus’ couch.

Papyrus regales you with stories of The Great Papyrus.

_“This is the God of Hyperdeath who will protect their human friend!”_

You close your eyes and pretend, for a moment, that Asriel is still alive.

 

* * *

 

 

Once upon a time, there were two children. A human and a monster.

The human wanted to give up their life for a noble goal.

The monster failed to stop the human.

The both of them died.

 

* * *

 

 

Asriel is dead. You tell yourself.

But you don’t believe it, not really.

How can you when you were the one who came back from the dead?

You cling onto the last vestiges of hope and wish with all your heart that he is still out there, somewhere.

_“Please don’t leave me alone.”_

(Please.)

 

* * *

 

 

You have to leave.

You will always leave.

You set off to Waterfall, your heart cleansed of the anger that had plagued you for so long.

It should be a good thing – it is a good thing, but you just feel empty inside.

“Asriel is nothing like him.” Flowey says sulkily.

“…I know. You are nothing like Asriel either.” You say.

Both of them are kind, optimistic, silly. But Papyrus is too loud, too enthusiastic, too brave. He will never be Asriel.

You wonder how you ever mistook him for your brother during that lapse in judgement.

 

* * *

 

 

Flowey travels with you again.

“You can get a better ending.” He tells you softly in a tone that’s almost a croon.

“I suppose you’d know that, huh?” You are definitely not bitter, nuh-uh.

“Aw, don’t look at me like that, Chara.” Flowey cackles.

“You’re annoying.” You scoff and pluck him off his perch on your shoulder. You throw him into the shallow river.

He splutters.

“You never play fair, Chara!” He yells angrily.

_“Chara! You never play fair!”_

You pause.

“I’m not Chara.” You say for the first time in a long while.

And the funny thing is, you are starting to believe it.

 

* * *

 

 

Getting past Undyne isn’t fun.

But it was rather kind of her to pause while you took a call from Papyrus.

There was a lot you missed the first time around.

Maybe Asriel was right: taking short-cuts made you miss a lot in life.

 

* * *

 

 

You make it to Hotland in one piece.

Undyne storms off after you pour the cup of water on her.

It seems like some things wouldn’t change.

 

* * *

 

 

You look at the screens again and finally put an emotion to what you are feeling: disturbed.

“That’s creepy.” You say.

Alphys snaps out of whatever daze she had been, casting a nervous look at Flowey who sticks his tongue out at her.

“O-Oh, r-r-right!”

Then Mettaton bursts through the wall.

You watch the proceedings go on, entirely unimpressed.

 

* * *

 

 

Okay, you lied.

Mettaton might be a narcissist, but he goes so overboard that you can’t help but find it amazing.

You dance again on the stage, throwing condescending looks towards the robot every time the ratings go up.

It’s fun, and for a moment, you let yourself forget everything.

 

* * *

 

 

The fun has to end. It always ends.

You bypass Sans who is standing by his hotdog stand.

He gives you a smile that isn’t quite real, but doesn’t say anything to you either.

“The smiley trashbag remembers.” Flowey hisses.

It sounds almost akin to hate.

“What did he _dew_ to get _yew_ this upset?”

“He made me RESET so many times!” Flowey screeches. Then, he jerks upright, stem straightening. Slowly, he turns to look at you.

“Did you just-?”

“Oops, guess some _bud_ s can’t take the heat, huh?”

“ARGHHH! A YEW ISN’T EVEN A FLOWER!” Flowey screams.

You can’t help but smile fondly.

 

* * *

 

 

You get a call from Papyrus reminding you to hang out at Undyne’s house.

Flowey makes a face but doesn’t say anything.

You backtrack all the way to Waterfall.

 

* * *

 

 

The first house you see is a quaint little thing. You knock on the door.

Napstablook opens the door.

He invites you in and you lie on the floor together, feeling like garbage.

For a moment, you think you can see galaxies bypassing you.

You blink and the illusion is gone.

(Time and space do not flow linearly in the abyss.)

 

* * *

 

 

Undyne’s house is a shark.

Papyrus waits in front of her doorstep, beaming at you.

He practically lights up at the sight of Flowey.

At his urging, you take the wrapped bone.

He knocks on the door.

“We’re going to die.” Flowey whines.

“I’m the one doing the dying. Not you.” You prod his leaves. He glowers at you and snaps at your finger.

 

Undyne doesn’t take to you well at first.

Then…

You stare at the window where Papyrus was.

All your preconceptions of the skeleton have been shattered.

Who knew that Papyrus could be manipulative?

You cast your gaze down to Flowey who looks just as lost as you.

 

Undyne offers you golden flower tea.

You push down memories of _chokinghurtingpoisonousbuttercups_ and pick up the cup. Giving Flowey a smug look, you sip at it as regally as you can.

“You jerk!” Flowey spits at you, crossing his leaves.

 

Undyne house burns down.

You hold Flowey and stand beside the fish monster, staring as the house goes down in flames.

“It served you well.” You say solemnly and pat Undyne on the shoulder. You miss entirely due to the difference in height and end up patting her on the hip.

 

* * *

 

 

Undyne moves in with Papyrus.

You trek all the way to Hotland.

Then, you get another call.

This time, it’s from Undyne.

Who is currently in Snowdin.

You groan and switch tracks once again.

 

* * *

 

 

“Flowey won’t admit it, but he absolutely adores spaghetti.” You say.

Flowey gives you a betrayed look.

Papyrus lights up and places a huge bowl of spaghetti in front of the flower.

“What? No! I hate it! Your cooking su- gah!” Flowey jerks back when Sans appears in front of him with an unnerving smile.

“See? He won’t admit it. In fact, he’s quite a tsun _dew_ , don’t _yew_ a _green_?”

For a moment, all four monsters stare at you.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”

“HUMAN! WHY?”

“Not another one…”

“nice.”

You laugh and wink at Flowey. “Aw, come on Ree. You know _yew leaf_ me.”

Flowey starts another outraged scream but it’s cut off before it can really begin.

“I’m not.” He says quietly.

Your smile fades away.

(You forgot.)

 

“Uh, anyway. Why don’t you deliver this letter for me, eh? Bestie?” Undyne interrupts with an awkward grin, practically shoving a letter in your face.

The force makes you stumble out of the door. You land on your butt in the soft snow. Flowey gets tossed out after you.

“It’s for Alphys!” Undyne shouts and slams the door in your face.

“…Rude.” You say to no one in particular.

 

* * *

 

 

There is a lab in Alyphs’ house.

There are tapes of two foolish children.

Alphys finds you and Flowey sitting in front of the screen, crying.

 

“It was a horrible plan.” Flowey says.

“I know.”

“I- Asriel didn’t know what to do without you.”

“…Crybaby.” You sob and hug Flowey to your chest.

 

* * *

 

 

You go towards the castle.

As you approach Judgement Hall, Flowey wriggles out of your grip and slips away.

You stare after him as he burrows underground.

You have a bad feeling, but you brush it aside.

Your gut couldn’t ever be trusted anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

Asgore stands in front of you.

Then, for the first time, something new happens.

Toriel interrupts the encounter before it can even begin.

It’s almost heartbreaking, seeing that wide-eyed look on Asgore’s face.

Your parents are here, and together and they- they’re fighting. And it’s all because of you.

You broke apart a perfectly good family.

One by one, your friends enter the room and you are forced to push that thought away.

Then, goddamned Flowey ruins the moment.

 


	11. Time

“Chara! Just let me win for once!”

“No.” You say.

“You’ve always gotta be right, don’t you!”

“I’m not!” You snarl, because you are so sick and tired of Flowey’s brattiness when _he isn’t even Asriel_.

He’s wearing Asriel’s face and Asriel’s voice and Asriel’s body and you can’t bear to think that he’s really Asriel because that would mean that you’ve been wrong and you’ve destroyed the only person that was worth living for.

“I wasn’t right! I was stupid and scared and I was worth nothing compared to the rest of Monsterkind!”

“You’re my best friend!” Asriel-Flowey shouts.

“I’m not.” You say. Your vision has become blurry and you wipe at your eyes.

You can’t cry. Asriel can’t see you cry.

But that’s Flowey, not Asriel.

That has to be Flowey.

You can’t let Asriel see you weak.

 _You can’t_.

“You kept telling me that you weren’t Asriel, Flowey.” You grit out.

“I am Asriel!” Asriel insists.

For a moment, you are reminded of your brother who would stomp his foot and puff out his cheeks.

“But I’m not Chara.”


	12. We

There was once a child who was worthless.

There was once a child who saw the worst in humanity.

(They weren’t wrong)

There was once a child who climbed a mountain named Mount Ebott.

 

There were once two children who wanted to save everyone.

There were once two children who made a plan.

There was once a child who died.

There was once a child who followed the plan to the letter, until the most crucial part of it was supposed to be carried out.

There was once a child so full of love and compassion and mercy.

There was once a child full of anger and spite and hate.

One child died.

The other child lived.

 

There was once a child who ate buttercups that poisoned their father.

There was once a child who absorbed a human Soul.

There was once a child who made it through the barrier and saw the sky for the first time.

There was once a child killed by humans for killing a child that they never loved.

There were once two children.

Two became one.

One became zero.

(But not really)

 _Because the child never really died_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It starts with a child who remembered living by another name.

It starts with a child who knew of a species forgotten by time.

It starts with a child who climbed a forbidden mountain and _jumped_.

 

But that’s not where the story really starts, is it?

 

 

* * *

 

 

It starts with two children.

Both of them died.

Only one stayed dead.

(And even that didn’t last)


	13. Will

“I’m not Chara.”

“No, you’re Chara. You’re the only one who ever understands me!”

You do, but you don’t say that.

You’ve learnt that hatred and anger doesn’t do anything for you.

Because they did so much for you – they led you to your death.

All the hatred within you had long since evaporated in lieu of a long line of **LOAD** s and **RESET** s that not even Flowey remembered.

You are tired.

 

 _It’s time to let go, fallen child_.

 

So you do.


	14. Do

You were once Chara.

You once had a brother named Asriel.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ree. Stop being so childish.” You say, tired and just the slightest bit angry.

Asriel cries.

You hug him and feel his furry arms settle around you.

 

* * *

 

 

The barrier is broken.

You go back to the start.


	15. Better

It starts with a child, forgotten and alone, who decided to climb a mountain.

The child fell.

Someone came.

 

* * *

 

 

“Asriel.” You say, reaching out to Flowey.

“I’m not- It’s Flowey.” Flowey says.

Your heart definitely doesn’t break.

(Your brother is deaddeaddead and it’s a l l y o u r f a u l t)

“My name is Frisk.” You say.

You’re not Chara.

You haven’t been Chara in a very long time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Your name is Frisk.

Asriel is dead.

Flowey isn’t Asriel, not really.

But then again, you aren’t really Chara either.

 

* * *

 

 

It starts with two children who found each other.

It ends with two broken children, both carrying memories of a past better forgotten, stepping into the light together.


End file.
